Arleigh Jenkins

Untitled

A wall of denial – is fallin’ down

Wo it’s fallin’ so hard – down to the ground

Never knew something so strong could be washed away by tears

But this wall of denial was just built on fear

We’ve all had our demons from the garden of white lies

Dressed them amused them pullin’ wool over our eyes

Go so far as to love them to keep from letting them go

All the while they we’re killin’ us but we couldn’t let it show

No matter what the trouble we carry round inside

We’re never safe from the truth but in the truth we can survive

When this wall of denial comes tumblin’ down

Down to the ground

Simple things in life bring the greatest pleasure

A smile, a kiss, a little baby’s laughter

It makes no difference if we run away in fear

The little things in life hold us so near

No matter what the trouble we carry round inside

(we’re) never safe from the truth but in the truth we can survive

When this wall of denial comes tumblin’ down

Yeah this wall of denial must tumble down

Down to the ground- Stevie Ray Vaughan

Untitled

Been dazed and confused so long it’s not true.

I wanted a woman, never bargained for you.

Lots of people talking, few of them know,

Soul of a woman was created below! - Led Zep

Random Thought of the Day

Lance Armstrong is 10 years younger than Sheryl Crow.

Fuck You ALL

Feelings are raging, the blood in my veins feels like it’s on fire. I don’t know if I feel more let down, and sad… or pissed and wanting to shout out with all that my lungs can give. i’m tired of people and their stupid comments. I’m tired of feeling pain because of what I love. I’m tired of wanting to cry myself to sleep because the majority of life has it out to kill my dreams.

Tonite will be another night I find tears on my sheets, and why? Because people I thought were friends. Since I was in my early teens I have lived to do one thing. Ride. Everyone that knows me well, or hell even at all, knows I breathe to ride my bike, to wear things out just to be able to tinker with it a bit more. Tonight I was told I’m not a true biker, because before a long weekend, which includes riding tons, I dont want to be hucking myself off steps or ledges or anything for that matter.

Maybe its growing up, or maybe it’s priorties. i’m not hurting myself to impress some folks that I have no reason to impress. I dont ride to show off my shit, I ride for myself, for my heart to keep beating. Yet, tonight I was told I’m not a rider.

I dont know why this hit hard, no that’s a lie. I do. Because it came from a certain persons mouth.

My answer to that, and to any person that has to say anything to what I love and do is fuck you. When you are doing something better than most the fucking nation, and you have nothing to prove so you don’t. When you are making enough to support a family by doing that love. When you have felt the pain inside, and loved every second of it. When you have been on your bike for 5 hours, and there is still 40 more miles left in that race. Then fucking tell me I’m not a rider. When you move away from everything you know, and love. Only to be able to ride year round. Then fucking tell me I’m not a rider.

Again, why am I taking this personal. Maybe because this hole in my heart is always being triggered. Why can’t a person do something they love and not be at the end of a barrel of a shot gun full of negative comments. People lining up to take shots. And people in that line, are one’s you love.

How is one supposed to deal with that? Again I am left asking myself, am I hurt, or mad, or hell both all at the same time. Again I am left finding myself crying on my steering wheel…

As Ani always easily says.

Untitled

who’s gonna give a shit

who’s gonna take the call

when you find out that the road ahead

is painted on a wall

and you’re turned up to top volume

and you’re just sitting there in pause

with your feral little secret

scratching at you with its claws

and you’re trying hard to figure out

just exactly how you feel

before you end up parked and sobbing

forehead on the steering wheel

who were you then

and who are you

now that you can’t pretend

that you can figure it all out

subtract out the impact

and the fall is all you get

so it takes two beers to remember now

and three more to forget

that i loved you so

yeah, i loved you, so what

i loved you

so what- ani

Life it seems is NUTs

Riding in a storm is always heart stopping. Especially with cars around here. A good ride though, finally got the hop in my rear rim trued out on my cross bike. Been putting it off, not wanting to fix it when I have time, instead I want to ride it.

The tour de france is going well for Lance. I haven’t been writing about it, because well I haven’t been writing about anything. Every night I’ll be found around 10:30-12′sh watching it. Sometimes I catch the live feed in the morning.

Trying to make my place in the new position at work, which leads me with no time. I refuse to be like many managers I’ve worked with that just order around people. I have a lot to learn, and hopefully the guys will give me that opportunity. I’ve been doing tons of research which I will probably share down the road with you all. Suspension, gearing.. yes yes I’m trying to shove my brain with years of techie crap. I am not sure how to do it, I know it’s not my job to know it all.

That’s what a mechanic is for, but hmph I want to be able to hold some of my own ya know?? Plus I think I’m the only one that likes the techie fork, and suspension crap.

Untitled

How stupid am I?

Untitled

Hope, dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

Winding in and winding out

The shine of it has caught my eye

Roped me in so mesmorizing

And so hypnotizing

I am captivated

I am…

Like hope, dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

- Dashboard

The Feast of Love// Charles Baxter

I’m only half way through this book, but so far it’s EXCELLENT. Breaks down life almost, with out getting into all the stupid factors.

Working Woman

The new job is well, a task at the least. I don’t see how I couldn’t do better than the last guy there. Everything is wacked, people do things all slack.. it should be interesting. I already have a master plan too! Hopefully it will work out as planned, I think the key thing will be communication.

Nutso World I’m TELLING You

Life is weird. Weird is putting it lightly at that. I have been offically announced as the Service Manager for City Bikes in Adams Morgan. Probably the best freaking shop in the Mid-Atlantic. How the hell did it happen? F if I know, and I’m nervous to death.

Either way it’s exciting, stressing, but very exciting. The nice thing about it is I’ll be finally getting the pay for the workload I do. I don’t feel as if I am 100% the person for the job, but I’m pretty smart and I can learn as I go. As always I will give it my all, and maybe that is what they were looking for you know? So much to do too. The one good thing out of it is I will be getting a lot of reading time on the metro!

On a much lighter note

For about an hour today I went around and put fireworks in tunnels of moles that have been taking over my lawn. It was rather enjoyable, as sick as it may be. I dont know if I am more upset with myself being cruel to animals, or the stupid things killing all my grass and the front brick walkway.