Funny how you can remember the month, the day, and even the hour when you had your heart broken for the first time. I guess it’s hard to forget when your heart is shattered in pieces by lies and broken promises. Funny thing is, I wouldn’t change a thing. Who knows what the hell I would be doing right now if that part of my life hadn’t of ended. I’m happy where I am, even at it’s worst it’s still the best I could ever ask for.
It’s weird to look back on your past. Always a good thing, but non the less very weird. I see all the stupid mistakes I made, how much I gave up for those months of being in love. How many things I screwed up while being blind.
The thing that is the weirdest out of all this. Every love is different, and always changing. Ever since I got down here life has changed. My love for family, and distant friends has become deeper, yet less daily. I’m no longer surrounded by all my friends, and family. That love isn’t around me, holding me close. It’s there, but in a deeper sense. I know who my true friends are, and that no matter the distance my family is there. Also the love I am feeling for Kris is much stronger, and much deeper. (keep using that word) Looking back on what happened last year, it seems like I was on some unreal cloud. A very unhealthy cloud. Infatuation I guess. I will never deny the fact that it happened, or wish it hadn’t. I’m glad I’m not there anymore though.
Everything with Kris is well… not perfect. But it’s right. It’s how love should be. With problems, but nothing that can’t be solved. I know without her I am in pieces, but can survive if I need to. When I wake up to her it’s as if that’s where I belong, and no matter what she can put a smile on my face.
Guess that’s the difference between TRUE LOVE and being in love. Speaking of being in love.. I need to work on my half. Don’t think I’m doing everything right.